Attempts and Advice
by RadiantRainbows
Summary: I was asked to upload this on December twenty-fourth.


The room was silent, only the sounds of soft breathing was heard. Any giving moment anyone would have thought the two beings in the room were sleeping. That was not the case however. The two beings were husband and wife, laying on a queen sized bed, _naked._ the young man had black medium spiky hair. It looked even more spikier than usual, he was staring up at the ceiling with a hesitant glint, darting his eyes every now and then to his younger wife.

The young woman was a blonde, her hair locks were tied messily in a bun. Few strances were pulled out and getting tangled up with each other. She was breathing a bit hard out of concern. Her eyes were darting around the room and avoiding the man next to her. She sighed out, curling her lips inwards. She was obviously very awkward. "A-ano…"

Masayoshi Red cleared his throat, getting painfully awkward as well. "y-yeah… so um.. Do you feel… uh…"

His wife, Masayoshi Yellow gave out a nervous chuckle. "It doesn't… really work that way."

Red felt his face heat up. You would think by now he would know better. "R-right."

Once again, silence made it's way in the room. Yellow slowly turned to her side, unsure if she should or not. "Um.. Night."

"Y-yeah…" Red sighed out, turning on the opposite side. "Yep…"

* * *

"Morning morning morning!" Cheerfully, a young man with raven hair and golden eyes skipped inside the Manor seating room. He carried a stack of papers in his arms and hummed a tune randomly. He was wearing a black button shirt that was tucked in black formal pants. Judging by the golden tie he wore, he was clearly heading somewhere important later today.

Red, banging his head softly against the desk he was borrowing, groaned softly. Lifting his head solemnly he secretly envied the Hatcher's cheerfulness. "Morning Gold." Completely ignoring the obvious misery in his ex-mentor's voice. The bright eyed man chimed at him. "Gold…." Red squinted his eyes as the Hatcher walked passed him. Suddenly it hit him. "… Gold! Oh! Hey!"

With a clumsy halt, the said male turned back around. "Yeeess? Can I help you?" Gold reckless placed the papers he was holding on the desk and leaned against it.

"Y-yeah, I think finally you can….!" Red's sudden spur of happiness quickly dimmer when he heard how _that_ came out. "Oh wow, no I-I didn't mean it that way."

Gold scoffed softly in a chuckle and have a reassuring smile. "Yeah yeah, so what can I do ya for?"

Red was experiencing all kinds of emotions in such a short amount of time, he wasn't sure if his brain had caught up. "Uh well… you uh… you…" The awkward embarrassment crept up to the chest of the Battler once again. " Ahahaa… you uh…" As much as he enjoyed the certain shyness that can only be displayed when embarrassment, it just wasn't the same when his ex-mentor was doing it.

Gold cleared his throat and kept his laughter down. "Yes, we establish you wanted to ask me something, next step."

"Uh yeah, right… uhh.. You… Gold… um.. You uh…" Gold ran a hand over his forehead and through his hair. Trying to keep the now growing annoyance down with his laughter. Red cleared his throat, played with his hands. Had trouble deciding where to _put_ his hands. Kept shifting his legs around. And every time he opened his mouth, either nothing came out, or the many variations of referring to one person.

"Red?"

"Yeah?" Red looked hopeful, hoping the Hatcher had read his mind somehow.

"This is the part where you tell me what you want." Well, so much for mind reading. Red sighed out, mentally kicking himself for being so spazzed out over this.

"Right, well I uh… you.." Gold rubbed his nose, an attempt to smother his scoff. "Have.. The uh… the… ahem…."

Gold raised an eyebrow and decided to sit on top of the desk. "I have the what?"

"… seaa…u.. sss…. Sex."

The Hatcher took a moment to understand what was being asked here. "… Do I have hot sweaty sexual intercourse? Heheh, why do you think I'm so cheerful this morning?" Gold's infamous mischievous smile was given.

Red laughed softly through his nose and nodded his head widely. "Ah hah hah hah. Riiight… well at least yours is hot…"

This grabbed Gold's attention. "What…. Oh no. No no no, you had sex last night?"

"Uh.. Yeah?" Red was a bit confused to the Hatcher's sudden disapproval.

Gold shook his head in a disappointed matter. Tch'ing like a rebellious teenager. "Now that's just… that's just sad."

"What?" Red was not slightly annoyed and more confused. "How is tha-" He was met with the rough slap before he could finish. Gold had leaned his torso closer, using one of his hands to support his weight on his bent knee.

"Dude! You cannot wake up in the morning looking as if someone had just reached down your throat and pulled out your intestines then tied it around your neck, when you just had sex with one of the most beautiful woman in Kanto!" Red was now having trouble getting that mental picture out of his head. At least the confusion cleared up. Gold on the other hand had trouble calming himself down. While he wasn't angry persay, he was definitely faking that. The more he talked the more passionately dramatic he got. It sort of scared Red on a more rational level.

"It's just sad! A-and insulting, not only to her but the guys she didn't pick because of you! Shame, shame on you Masayoshi Red." Gold was about to add a couple more shames in there, however he stopped himself and put his finger back on his lap. The Hatcher cleared his throat and gave the Battler a pouty frown.

"… You done?" Red asked, Gold replied with a nod and a casual

"Yep. So what happened?" Gold shoved the stack of papers off and leaned back against the wall. Completely sitting on the desk now with interest.

* * *

"And every time we try it, it just doesn't work…" Yellow was sitting down on a stool, picking at the food she ordered. Sitting next to her with a rather disturbed expression was a red haired male. They moment she uttered the words 'sex with Red' he had lost all appetite and was now just waiting for this lunch break to be over. "So… are we.. Doing it wrong or…?"

Knightwalker Silver simply stared at her. He then tore his head away and looked in front of him, sighing. The chef who's by now already familiar with the redhead, was just trying to hold in his laughter. Silver shifted in his seat and made several hand gestures, unsure how to approach this topic. "… You and Red… have been doing a lot of the… err.. Sex."

The blonde nodded, not in the least bit embarrassed about this. Silver cleared his throat and shoved the murdering thoughts against the snickering chef away. "In attempts to get pregnant." The Healer nodded again. "… it has not been… working… the uhh… sex." Yellow nodded again, wondering where was this headed. On the redhead's side he was hoping the blonde would catch up to his words any second now. "So… you come and ask me."

"Right, you're the only expert on this I know." Yellow smiled brightly, making it that much harder for the redhead to bring disappointment.

"On fertility?" Silver made sure to cringe as he said this, maybe that'll show how uncomfortable he is.

Yellow chuckled lightly with a small curve on her lips. "No silly! Sex."

Shameless.

so very shamelessly she spoke. Silver wasn't sure if he was suppose to feel offended or proud. He'll leave that thought for another lifetime. "I don't like you without your innocence."

In reply, Yellow gave a soft scowl. "Yeah, well, you can blame your sister for that."

A half scoff half laugh escaped the Exchanger's lips. "Shyeah, well, same goes for me… Alright… um, Yellow?" Silver went back to the subject that was unfortunately at hand.

"Yeah?" A hopeful glint was present in her emerald eyes.

"You know I'm gay right?" Silver honestly wasn't sure if she did. Besides, how would a male know anything about how to get pregnant, especially when the details were coming from the opposite gender.

The healer rolled her eyes, she didn't think that would be an issue. "Well, you spent Blue's entire twenty-sixth birthday party talking to Karen's breast, so then I figured maybe you were just bi."

"_INTO-_Intoxicated! I was intoxicated!" It wasn't that he spent that night being straight that got him all riled up, it was more of the matter when his boyfriend pulled him aside and proceeded to do all sorts of things while the redhead played the role of submissive… extremely well.

Yellow sweat dropped, watching the redhead block out the memories of that day.

* * *

"HAAHAHAAHA!" Meanwhile, back with the poli-duo, after a very long conversation where Gold kept finding new ways to confused the battler and probably scare him into celibacy. Red was not amused as the laughing Hatcher now that the point of the conversation has ended. Now all that was left was to get the advice he was seeking for three hours ago. "Hookay, okay, let me get this straight."

-Because the last three hours clearly weren't.

- Red sighed and let the Hatcher talk, interrupting him might end with another hour on why females don't have penises. Gold cleared his throat, straighten up his back that was resting against a pillow. "You and Yellow are trying to get pregnant, but every time you have dull awkward sexual intercourse, two weeks later, the stick is still isn't turn blue." The Battler hoped, the younger man wouldn't change the subject again to the many wonders of a pregnancy test and it's contradicting ways.

"Pretty much…" Red sighed out, regretting he started this conversation.

Gold was nodding his head in understanding. "And… you came to ask _me_ advice becauuusee…?"

"Well! You're you know… savy Gold." The Hatcher resisted every laughter bone that had awaken.

"Okay… well you do know I'm pretty much gay right?" Red chuckled, was it so hard to say that from the start? Could have saved the now burnt up innocence that had been spared by a certain brunette. "As long as you're not going up the ass, it should be fine."

Red sarcastic smiled, sighing deeply and leaning back in the desk chair. It was clear, the man was very distraught about this. Gold had gotten off the desk and started collecting the knocked off papers. "You know, ever think that maybe one of you is sterile?"

"Sterile?"

Gold looked back at the Battler. He may have no idea about getting pregnant, other than how to impregnate a woman. The Hatcher did know that being told you were sterile was one of the worse feelings on this earth. "Yeah… well, anyways. If you're too embarrassed to go to a doctor about it, why not try an equally perverted person who is actually female?"

Red nodded, scanning his brain from someone as bad as Gold. "Um.. Who might that be?"

Laughter erupted from the Hatcher. The raven haired male patted his ex-mentor on the back and grinned. "You're cute when you're slow."

"Uh…" The Battler watched the younger male walk away, still confused and feeling like he was this morning.

LineBreak

Knock Knock!

In Pallet Town, at a pale blue painted house, the light wooden door opened with a very bitter Okido Green on the end. "**_What!?_**"

Red flinched and gave a half yelped when he saw his best friend looking as if he just got out of a bar fight. His tone added the scary into the image. "I- uh… hi?"

The spiky haired brunet sighed out and ran a hand through his hair. He obviously had a rough morning. "Sorry. What do you want?" His attempt to sound less rude back fired with his choice of words. Something, Red thought it would be better to not mention.

"Iiisss your fiancé here?"

"You would think."

Red sweat dropped, it sort of explained why Green looked and sounded like a wreck. At the same time it only brought up more questions that Red felt it would be safer not to get into. "Oh… uh…"

Green moved side, opening the door wider. "You can come in if you needed to get something."

"No, actually I just came to ask how to get pregnant." As if Pallet Town itself was in disbelief, the winds had stopped blowing, creating a very sudden awkward silence. The Trainer's train of thought had shattered into pieces. The only thing on his mind now was so many questions, half of them involving how to break the news to his Red, and how stupid can his suposably best friend actually was. On the other side of the door, the said best friend was completely oblivious to the silence around him.

Green cleared his throat, deciding blunt is the only way to not confuse the man further. "Red, men can't get pregnant. It's physically impossible to grow or be born with a uterus."

How thick did everyone think he was? Red shot a glared and lightly punched his friend on the chest. "With Yellow, of course!" The spiky brunet nodded chuckled, that being his second possibility.

"Ah, I didn't know you guys were trying already." Red walked inside the house regardless, he might as well wait for the brunette. Green had made his way to the kitchen to pour some drinks. "Now I'm no expert… or, apparently a woman." The Trainer didn't think it was necessary to have female reproductive parts to understand how to conceive a child. "But I'm pretty sure all you have to do is… have sex."

The Battler chuckled sarcastically, showing how not amused he was by pretending to be amused. "I know that… just, it's been over a year and nothing." The two of them were sitting down at the small round table. Taking a sips from the drinks Green had set down. "I thought that maybe I'm doing something wrong, so I wanted to ask Blue."

The brunet stared at his friend, there was so many things wrong with that sentence he didn't know where to start. Red noticed the stare and made several awkward hand gestures. "Well… that… isn't all I wanted to… ask."

"What was the other thing you wanted to ask?"

"I rather not say…"

Green nodded, getting more curious. "Well, maybe I can help."

Red thought about it, Green was _was_ engaged to the brunette. He would know a few tricks and could probably be less teasing than Gold was. "Well… me and Yellow… have been…" Words became dry in the Battler's throat. The only thing that helped shove the words out was the impatient glare Green was forming towards him. "Ahem, we… the s-sex. Has been… kind of… dry."

Green took a moment to process what he said. "Well, I think I found the problem to why you won't get pregnant."

Surprisingly it didn't take long for Red to understand what he meant. "Oh! NO! N-not like that! I meant it's not… passionate…"

"Huh." The Trainer decided against telling his friend, that only made him look worse. "Well, maybe you faked it."

Everything Red once knew was blow to hell. "… Uh… faked it?"

* * *

"Well… every guy is different. It's not like they all like the same things." Blue sighed out, wondering how did she end up here in this point of time. One moment she was cleaning her living room, the next she's talking to a certain blonde about how make a guy scream. This topic, of course, came after Blue reminded the blonde she did not want kids and wouldn't know anything about fertility.

Yellow set down the fork she was eating her cake with. "Well.. What do you think Red might like?"

"I dunno, why don't you just ask him?" While Blue barely had any boundaries, and Yellow was inappropriately shameless. The people sitting in tables near them had all fled once they realized they weren't going to stop talking about physical activities.

The Healer was a bit taken back. "Oh but won't that be awkward?"

"As if this very conversation isn't already." Blue muttered under her breath. "Well, a relationship where one isn't using their voice, isn't a real relationship."

"Oh we talk…" Yellow cleared her throat, focusing her gaze on her cake. "Just… not about that…"

The Evolver set down her drink. "Well you should, it's completely worth it in the end~"

Yellow nodded, thanking the brunette for her advice. It was definitely much more than Silver had offered earlier. After tonight, if nothing had changed then she would bring up the idea of going to a specialist instead of the two personal sex-ed experts. Now all that was left on the agenda was to have sex with her husband. Joy oh joy.

* * *

An awkward silence had filled the room. The window was open and the curtains were shut together. Though you could still see the moonlight seeping in. "Ahem…" The Healer, who was now naked and had her hair in a messy bun cleared her throat. Just like all their other attempts, it was dull, painfully awkward, and just plain dry. The blonde was convinced her husband had to force himself to finish, she knew she did.

The weird thing about all this though, was that it felt like this was probably the worse attempt they've ever had. Would it only get worse from here? Yellow inhaled shakily at the thought. They _really_ needed help. "Uh… thank you."

Red, who too was naked, was laying next t her, staring at the ceiling wondering to himself what the hell went wrong. He even had a reference this time! He was so sure things would change this time around, in fact it was the complete opposite. This had got to be the worse special time they had together yet. And she still thanks him for it? Red felt his lips twitch, the more he the seconds passed, the more he thought about his wife verbal gratitude. "Snrk.."

Yellow heard her husband smother down laughter, she turned her face to look at him smiling up at the ceiling. "W-what?"

The Battler started laughing, shutting his eyes in attempt to get control. "Sna.. Hahaahah! Y-you're Hahah! you're thanking me for the most boring sex ever?"

At this, the blonde joined in his laughter. Letting the tension escape her body through soft chuckling. "Well! I didn't know what else to say Heahha." After she had said this, Red only laughed harder. The awkward silence was replaced with a comfortable laughter. The two spouses only found their situation more funny the more they thought about it.

Once the laughter started to die down, the two of them looked at each other. The awkwardness they felt had been laughed out of, Red's autumn eyes stared deeply into Yellow's emerald ones. For the first time in a long while, they remembered their wedding day. Why they got married, why they love each other.

_Click_

Red shoved himself off the bed and climbed on top of his smaller wife. He didn't wait a single moment, going in for a kiss. Yellow allowed entrance quickly after and used her hands to bring her husband's face deeper down. Faster than a lighting strike, the air around them took a complete flip. His lips never breaking from hers. Yellow's hands understood her husband's face wasn't going anywhere and moved to his shoulders. Gripping his tense muscles in her bony fingers.

His torso flinched to this, allowing the blonde to gain control over their prancing lickers. Her brain worked quickly, never taking a moment to fill her in on what they should do next. Her hands were back down to the Battler's chest, pushing him upwards. Her lips moved down to his jaw line and followed it down to his Adam's apple. Red groaned lightly, putting his larger hands on her waist. He was sat down by his wife, as she traced her fingers along his neck. Kissing the other side to keep him busy, the Healer let her legs straddle the man's lap.

The Battler was vaguely aware that his wife was straddling his lap, his mind was more focus on the tiny jolts that shocked through his shoulders. It wasn't painful, not at all. These jolts were tiny waves that went down his body, it made him very aware of his nipples and his hardening member. When Yellow pulled away from his lips, she slid her hands down to his chest, making the man groaned with a flinch as his nipples were rubbed gently.

This spurred him to use one of his free hands to grasp her breast, causing her to gasp from the coolness of his palms contracting the warmth of her mounts. Red let his pinky slid over her areola, he felt the blonde's legs twitch in place and move her hands back to his shoulders. Yellow let her forehead bump against her husband's, smiling softly at the man. "Maybe this time it'll work."

Red chuckled and brought his hands back on her upper waist. "And if it doesn't, at least we'll have good practice."

Yellow giggled at this and squirmed a bit when his hands rubbed down towards her thighs. The blonde pressed her body against his, locking lips in the process. No matter how old he gets, Red will always react to breast being thrust upon him. Especially _naked_ _harden_ breast. A half groan and half whimper escaped his throat. He hadn't felt this much heat start to boil in his body since their honeymoon night.

It was obvious that the feeling was mutual by the way the blonde's fingers gripped the shoulder of her husband. It had been _so_ long since either of them felt this much passion start to rise between the other. Yellow pecked the Battler's forehead and moved her lips down to his neck. Red shifted in place, causing the blonde's breast to rub against his chest. This drew out a whimper from the Healer, and a smothered groan from the male himself. The lower his wife brought her lips, the further her body bent, making her harden nipples to occasionally poke the man's chest. The action only spurred the two of them.

When sitting became too difficult for the Battler to pull off, he shifted his knees, placing on directly under his wife now moist personal area. "Haa_aah_…~" From the sudden shift, one of the blonde's legs fell between her husbands, causing her knee to be much more closer to _his_ own area.

Yellow gripped his shoulder's tighter, letting herself grind gently against her husband. Red groaned to this, hearing her moan out didn't help much matters either. He felt the desire to take her increase, but they've never had foreplay quite like this. He didn't want that to stop either. Red wasn't sure what he should do, they were pretty much going in a circle, not knowing what to do with themselves. It had been a couple months, years even, since either of them felt like this while naked with one another. "Haa.. Hh.. I-I'm not sure what to do…"

The blonde chuckled and rested her forehead against his. "I've heard that somewhere before."

Red's faint blush increased a bit with slight embarrassment. "Um.. Any request?"

Yellow didn't give this a second thought, she just wanted everything to be natural. "Just do what you want." She moved her lips towards his ear, letting her fingers squeeze one of his erect nipples. "I know I will."

A breathless groan escaped Red's lips. Just do what he wanted? Sounded simply enough but the feelings that dwell inside him were just pile up in one place instead of taking over his senses. Red widen his eyes in slightly, understanding what was the problem. The Battler grinned, shoving the blonde back down, ignoring her surprised gasp. He used his hands to support him as he let his tongue leave a path from her belly button to her erect nipple area.

He let his mouth attempt to swallow the mount, causing his wife's back to ache. "_Aahh!_"

One of the blonde's knee bent up from the action, nudging the back of her husband. When Red moved over to her other breast, trying to swallow that mount down too, Yellow squirmed in place. Her soft moans giving out her approval. With one hand gripping the sheets, she used the other to run through Red's hair, pushing his head down slightly.

Red was now panting as he lifted his head from his wife's mount. His breath only brought coolness to the blonde's breast, making her squirm more. "Nn.." Yellow gently pulled on his hair, making him come back to her lips. As his tongue was trying to get down her throat, his hands were just as eager to start roaming. Red's mind was focus on feeling more of her cavern that where his hands were headed. So of course he didn't notice his fingers digging into the vagina of his wife.

"_AAaa_hh!" Well, now he did. Yellow broke the kiss, suddenly feeling an uncomfortable wave of pleasure shot through her. Red pulled his fingers away, forcing them to grip the bed sheets. His member pulsed when he felt just how wet his wife was getting. It made him want to skip to the part where getting pregnant proved to be very efficient. As much as she was enjoying this, the blonde didn't find it all that fair he wasn't feeling the same things she was.

She would have to fix that. Yellow decided to lower her bent knee to where it would create somewhat of a barrier between his member and her membrane. Locking lips, the blonde let her thigh rub against his penis. Red's lips didn't stay locked on the blonde's for very long right after. "Ga… ah!"

When he extended his neck back, the Healer took this chance to give her husband a marking with her lips. Suckling his Adam's apple. "_Nn_ng… ahhh…~" Slightly hoping this wouldn't be their only chance to have a passionate night, Red pushed the blonde's knee down, wanting to enter her quickly.

Yellow didn't have any objections to this, she proved that by grinding her wet area against his member. Gently, the Battler tried to place his wife back down on the bed, wanting a better angle before entering her. As he lowered her, Yellow left trails of moist kisses along his neck, jaw line and basically anywhere she could reach. For a split second, their eyes connected. Following after was a soft kiss that lingered innocently on their lips.

When the Healer noticed Red only did this to ease her, she deepen the kiss, smothering any gasp or moans that wanted to escape as her husband's member slowly made it's way into her body. It was Red who pulled away, panting with utter pleasure from her moist warmth that embraced his penis. "_Ha…haaahhh..~"_

Yellow didn't hide her own moans, letting the room fill up with their heavy breathing. It wasn't as enjoyable for Yellow, but it sure was a hell of a lot better than their pervious attempt. She wasn't going to be complaining any time soon. "_Na.. _ah…!"

Red knew his wife didn't make much noises, any pleasure she felt was written all over her face. The rose blush on each side of her cheek, the thin sheen of sweat on her forehead. The way her eyes were squeezed shut and her brows had troubled keeping still. He hadn't seen her look like this in so long, he moved in her slowly, wanting to memorize this moment.

They both got more pleasure when they moved slow anyways. Of course that pace didn't keep up for long as Yellow started to grip Red's shoulders in a desperate manner, silently requesting that he picked up the speed. Without hesitation, Red granted this request. Pushing in deeply, and practically yanking himself out, only to push back into her in a deep swing. "Ah..! Hah…~"

Neither of them being quite used to of this much pleasure, or well, any pleasure at all. It took only a handful of thrust before Red let himself release inside of her. He keep pushing into the moaning blonde until he felt the heat around his member rise higher. "Ga_aa_hh!" Once Red felt the gush of warmth wrap around his softening member, he pulled out slowly, listening closely to the gasping blonde below him.

Red's body dropped next to his wife, panting for the hot air around them. One arm was resting across the blonde's chest, as Yellow too was having trouble getting her breathing back to normal. Finally, a night where it wasn't dry, their damp bed sheets were proof of that. There was no awkward tension, just a relaxed satisfied one. Was laughing really all it took to get back to this point?

Yellow turned to her side, wanting to see if her husband enjoyed the sex as much as she did. Seeing the daze smile alerted her that he very much did. "… Hahah…" The blonde raised an eyebrow, what was funny now?

"What?"

Red shook his head, letting his back bend in a slight curl, reaching out to his petite wife to embrace her. "Nothing, just realized we're on the wrong side of the bed."

The blonde lifted her head lazily to see the headboard. Now when did that happen. "… We don't have to move do we?"

The Battler replied by nuzzling his face against the Healer's chaotic messy hair. "Shh, I'm asleep."

Yellow giggled, letting her forehead rest against his chest, following his lead into falling into slumber.


End file.
